An Unseen Kindness chapter seven

Hyacinths.

I named this chapter Hyacinths after the flower symbolizing forgiveness.  It fits, I think.
So after the first cliffhanger in the whole story ( man I missed cliffhangers) I had some panic. Ken sees Kari. He's been avoiding everyone for a few weeks now, and for good reason. I'd probably avoid them too. But Ken doesn't run. he wants to, but running now would be turning his back on his mission of helping. He sees this as his last chance to help the digidestined. from his perspective, it is. Kari is all that is left. She's in a panic, distraught, and desperate, and Ken makes his choice- even though he want to get away and not speak to her, face her, because he feels unworthy, he stays. To do what he can.

If you notice, we never go into Kari's head in this. there are lots of pauses, but all we get from her are expressions and dialog, no thoughts, not even from the third person. that's because those will be explored in "Lead On", a two part song- story fic that I'll be writing in december.

This is the reveal chapter. From earlier chapters, we know Ken's motivations. We know exactly what and why. but he tells someone. Kari knows, and Ken faces his thoughts. Kari doesn't say much, and he's sure because she agrees- Ken honestly can't comprehend anyone thinking him worthy of being forgiven, worthy of thanks. All he can see is the red in his ledger, to paraphrase Avengers.

I don't ship Ken Kari. I don't. but their friendship is one I wished had been more explored. They have this connection to darkness, Kari because she fights it, Ken because he was drawn in and broke free. If I write another story in this timeline, if I come up with a plot, that's going to be a thing.

also, as I write this post, I'm realizing something i forgot to include again. gosh dangit. I'll work it into a one shot or something. I hope.

It was a small bit of dialog, that doesn't quite fit but that I liked, where Ken talks about how sorry he is and Kari says, 'you didn't know.' as if realizing that for the first time. and then she was going to tell him that she understood. that once a good friend of hers had fought against her, and Ken was going to say something about "I nearly killed you! I...you could have died, and I would have done it. It's not some playground bully, I was a monster, a killer." And Kari would touch Gatomon's egg and say, " so was she." and THEN Kari was going to give that line, the one that rings in Ken's ears and he doesn't understand it.

because how can she say it? This girl- he took from her her best friend, he kidnapped her, he nearly killed her, he nearly killed her best human friend, over and over she and her brother and friends came so close to death, and he's only cursed that they'd survived- how can she of all people, the girl of Light with the Angel digimon, how can she forgive him? But she does.


There's just one more chapter of this, a wrap up. I'm taking a wee break for the rest of the month (sorry) to work on NaNoWriMo, but I'll be fanficcing again come december! see you then!

An Unseen Kindness 6

Chapter 6: Before Dawn.

This was GOING to be one long chapter but I split it up because reasons. reasons like: "I'm sleepy" and "Oh, there's a nice cliffhanger ha ha ha" so yeah. I was pretty happy with how this came out.

I wrote it over a very long weekend, mostly sunday afternoon at the Scottish Highland games in Ventura. T'was pretty awesome.
so, onward.  THIS IS THE NIGHT WHERE STUFF WENT DOWN. everything's going wrong and Ken is on the edges of it.

here is also where Ken sorta breaks a little because everything is so real and he thinks the kids are *dead* and feels so *guilty* poor baby Ken I just want to hug him.

Also tiny cuteness with Joe and Mimi with Joe having fallen protecting her as she protected Palmon. cuties.
 And then of course is the line that was supposed to be in the last chapter, with Ken realizing that this scene- the dead kids- was what he had been trying to do for MONTHS and he feels so awful and wretched and it's ripping him apart.

AND THEN A DREAM YAY DREAMS ARE SUCH FUN.
Seriously. prophetic Voice-dreams for everyone.

And while the Voice spoke to T.K. and Kari to warn, it speaks to Ken to reassure. to comfort. to say, you are not a monster.

because above all that's what Ken needs to know. and there is a last phrase, unfinished, only half heard.
and It'll come up in one of the last two chapters. Promise.

finally, the end scene. Kari falls from the sky. you all will get to find out how she survived! exciting!


I'll try to update soonish.

An Unseen Kindness Chapter 5

so after far too long I finally wrote chapter 5!
first- this chapter has a title. I almost called it "Hyacinths" after the flowers Ken brings. but then I didn't. I'm currently trying to come up with names for the previous chapters.

I wrote this chapter ENTIRELY by hand in about three hours while my mother was at the Mormon Family History Center near where I live. I go to keep her company, and it gets me away from the internet so I'm not distracted.

This was my favorite chapter too write so far, and was one that I'd been planning the longest-  this was the Core of the story. So yeah.
I'm expecting one more chapter and an epilogue. It's a much shorter story than the others, but it's the longest of the companions, so that's something.
I missed Wormmon here, don't worry he'll be in the next chapter. or rather Stingmon will.

So let's dive right in.

It opens in the flowershop. At first, this chapter was too be much shorter, it would be Ken entering Matt's room and just that scene and that would be it and readers would have to look at the blog to see the meaning of the flowers, which I looked up waaaaaay back last year while writing A Fading Hope because look and check, it's the same flowers! I did all the research!! but then I realized that like one person reads the blog ( hi Crestoflight3!) so I decided that it needed to get brought up in the story. and because I was thinking about Sora's mom... well, it happened. Toshiko's Garden is not the real name, I don't think, but it was never given a name in the show so I named it after a local flowershop where I live. The Garden part, not the Toshiko's part. anyway.
It was nice to see Sora's Mom here, less frantic about her daughter.

About the flowers- yes, those are the meanings of the flowers. I found them. I was always really into the meanings of things- rocks, flowers, names- so I thought it'd be really cool to work some symbolism in there. (oh my gosh I'm an English teacher send help)

This was also a REALLY emotional chapter to write. Um, I kinda cried a little. because I got really in character with Ken and all, and it was HARD. One thing about his character is he constantly blames himself for everything, particularly Sam's death. so I added to that guilt because I am a writer and am apparently a terrible person.

Here in the hospital, after Nancy leaves, Ken gets his first- practice, I guess, at saying sorry to the DD. He knows Matt can't hear him, but hey. He wants to say it. He's so sorry. And he feels like this is as close as he will ever get to saying sorry because he can't face the others, can't. They won't listen. they hate him. they ought to, anyway. he can't look them in the eye, he doesn't deserve to. Poor Ken, he's really messed up at this point.
And it spills out- how sorry he is. how much he wishes he could fix. how much he blames himself.
And then come the memories- two sets. the first his his own, of being a child and his brother dying, his brother dead.
the second set is his imagining what it was like for Matt and Nancy and T.K's family to feel the pain he felt- knowing that he might well have killed T.K.
I actually forgot to include a continuation of this thought- even after the near death of TK in A Captive Light, Ken KEEPS TRYING TO KILL THEM.  and he knows now- so many times, he was nearly a murderer, it was only so many miracles that kept the DD alive. The guilt is crushing.

I guess that will happen next chapter!

Then goes another plot point- he sees Matt's jacket, thinks it's Tai's and leaves Kari's necklace in the pocket. Only it's not Tai's, it's Matt's, and it's not just a necklace, it's the Crest of Light.
so yeah. THAT'S HOW TK GOT THE CREST FOLKS! IT WAS KEN!!! MYSTERY = SOLVED.

I feel clever.

lastly, as has happened in pretty much all the stories, this chapter ends with a faint light- but this time it's NOT Kari's Light-Voice-Digital-World-Spirit-Thing.
this is the light of KEN'S CREST GLOWING, in the flowers that he brought.

the next update will be Apt 217 (which I will blog about) probably Friday or Saturday. see you then!

heh

Hey guys.
Soo, bad news.
My computer was old. 6 years old.
and it died. Type MacLaptop is no more.
I've got a replacement, but all my story notes and stuff was on the old one. I'll see what can be recovered when I get home next week (I'm still at school) but I dunno.
so the coming chapters might take a while.
mid august is about when I'll be posting again, I think. Unless I'm inspired on my multi-day road trip. We'll see!
hope you're having a great summer!

Bring Them Home.

Bring Them Home
Song- Bring Him Home from Les Miserables.

This is my first song fic in ages- the first was a companion to my first fic, a terrible mary sue fic oh gosh I'd delete it if it didn't have 60+ reviews.
Neither here nor there.

This was the most emotionally exhausting piece I've written, competing with the Dark Ocean chapters of A Fading Hope and the short story I wrote about being bullied in middle school.
I actually had to stop half way through and go into the living room and watch some mindless destruction AKA Independence Day with my roommates.

So.
First things first, of all the characters in the Digimon franchise, there are dozens who get like a minute of screen time and have names.
Mrs. Ichijouji did not have a first name. She's not on the character list on fanfiction.net. ( maybe we should fix that somehow?)
So I named her Aina, which means Love and Affection and also Vegetables. I thought it fit nicely.
I named her husband Yori, which means Trust.

When I first came up with this idea, I planned it for Izzy's mum and T.K.'s mum, and that was it. But as I started planning it- a month ago? I started thinking I could adapt it, that Ken belonged in there because I love his mother, and then- Sora too, because her mom is the only other one in the group that Knows and Understands and lives with that knowledge that her child is fighting something. Might not come home.

Let's talk about these moms.
I love the moms, I love Moms on a whole- my mom is my best friend, and when I'm away at school I miss her more than anything.

So I enjoy writing about moms.
Ken's mom is the least 'in the know' about her son's activity, but she knows something is wrong, and wishes she could help him. She does what she can, giving him all the love that she, well, didn't show very well as Ken was growing. I don't think it was her fault, exactly. I think that when Sam died, something in her broke, and is only now starting to heal.

Sora's mom is an interesting character, she had a huge, huge, huge impact on Sora's life, and her crest. She is not a soft hug mother, but a lioness, fierce, protective, and... not the best at explaining things? But she loves her daughter so much, and wants to protect her from all the danger. I feel like, of the knowing mothers, she's the least comfortable with it. Part of her wants to take Sora away from it all, but she knows she can't do that. She has to trust her daughter.

T.K's mom is similar to Sora's- she knows that this is something her sons have to do, but that doesn't mean she likes it. She's not very close to Matt, but as of A Fading Hope, I think they are getting closer. He comes over for dinner some nights, she goes to his concerts, but it's a new relationship. She knows the danger of the digiworld best of all, heard T.K. crying out from nightmares in those last few years, saw T.K in the hospital because of it. She's terrified of losing her family.

Izzy's mom has got to be one of my favorite characters. There's a line, a throw away line, never brought up again, that has haunted my thoughts since I was a kid- "we had lost a little boy of our own, you see"  I wanted to know that story. Izzy's mom loves Izzy so much- it hurt when he buried himself in his texts. She's so grateful that the Digiworld, in a way, brought her son, the son of her heart, back to her. At the same time she fears it will take him away forever.


I'd already established that Matt's family was religious. I'm not sure where that came from, probably another fanfiction, but I liked it, so I kept it. Nancy is a religious woman, God has been there for her in her darkest moments so she begs Him to bring her sons back to her.

Aina's sections were as much about her own failure as a mother and trying to make up for it as her missing Ken. She's the odd duck out at this point- she doesn't know what Ken is up against physically. She's thinking about his spirit, his heart- the sorrow inside him, not the demon things without.

Sora's mom, as I said, mostly focuses on wishing she could shield her daughter, take her place. Her daughter, she knows for a fact, is missing and is physically injured, and Toshiko wishes desperately she could protect her daughter- she's always protected Sora, and now she can't.

But it's Yoshie's section that is, if you will, the center piece of the story. I never got an explanation for what happened to that little boy.
Her story was inspired by the story of a friend of mine's sister. Her little boy died at birth, because of the same condition. It was reading her blog and her story that whispered to me- this is the story of the little boy. This is what happened to him.
I named him Eiji- meaning eternity.
It was so hard to write.
Another reason was that I was almost that lost child. I was born 6 weeks early ( a far cry from five months, I know) I was 3 pounds, 1 ounce, and only about a foot long. The doctors said I would die, there was no hope for me. Unlike Eiji and Tiny Baby, I got my miracle.
It was close though, and I will never be normal.

Yoshie clung to Izzy, he was a bright spot, and he was her son, and she loved him, and she's lost so much and as much as she knows he had to go... she was so afraid of losing him. And now, maybe she has.

Then there's the repetition- Come home, come home, come home, come home; Bring him home.
I thought it fit nicely.

I'll TRY to write the next chapter of Unseen Kindness for next week, but I've got two papers due Thursday and Saturday, so that might not happen.

A Fading Hope chapter four

A Fading Hope chapter four

Confession, I wrote this chapter in like... an hour and a half. I didn't put a whole lot of effort into it. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter though :)

But let's talk.
Ken is still very much trapped and hurting, he blames himself for all he did and is still beating himself up over it.

Even after saving Sora's life- twice- he can't face the Digidestined. He just can't. He's terrified of what they'll do, what they'll say. He knows they still hate him, they wish he was dead ( not wholly true) and that they can never see past what he's done. more importantly though, is that KEN can't see past what he's done. These last weeks he's been helping. Rebuilding, destroying spires, protecting digimon...but it's just so that his guilt doesn't get worse. It's not about- "if I do this much good, I'll be redeemed" it's "If I don't do as much good as I can, I'm even worse than I was."

My heart aches for Ken.
Poor duck.

But here we see some of the first tie ins to A Fading Hope. That light that destroyed the gears chasing Sora? Was Ken. Ken sent the email, Ken got the pillar off of her and bandaged her leg.
Pretty awesome, huh?

An Unseen Kindness chapter 3

I wrote this today, yay!

Chapter three.
For a chapter without much action, I liked this. I liked writing it.
I do not like how long it took me to sit my butt down and write it. six weeks! almost seven! bah!
but I did write it, that's what counts.

So Ken is back at it, trying to fix up the digiworld. And at least now he has Stingmon to help, big, strong Stingmon. But Stingmon/Wormmon notices- this is a big job. But Ken can't ask for help- who would help him- he's convinced the other DD hate his guts. Which some probably do. Cody for one, had a hard time forgiving him in the show, and what with nearly killing TK- it just got that much harder. I also think that Matt is going to have a much harder time, and of course TK. because how do you do that, even knowing he didn't understand what it meant- forgiveness is hard. It's a theme in this story, the theme. A Captive light had the theme of undying loyalty, a Fading Hope had the theme of hope and light triumphing over despair. And An Unseen Kindness is about redemption, something Ken is certain he can't obtain.
The thing is, though- he can. He just can't see it.

As I've said, I love Ken's mother. So much. She and Mrs. Izumi are some of the best moms ever. They don't really know what's going on, but they love their sons so much. I'm excited to work with both of them in this story and in Apartment 217.
They really are alike, though Ken's mom is- she doesn't understand the danger half so well as Izzy's. But she makes up for that by experiencing something similar- she lost Ken. she lost him for weeks to the Digital world. At least Izzy's mom only lost him for a day or so thanks to the time lapse, and she knew he had friends looking out for him, that he still does. Ken's mom didn't have that. So she's not worried about Ken coming back hurt, like Izzy's Mom, so much as Ken staying away again.

In any case- Ken gets his stuff together- and leaves.
Keep in mind this is the same night Izzy is captured and Sora attacked.
The next chapter should be fun!

An Unseen Kindness chapter two!

Wow. I am so behind. I take six weeks to update and six weeks to blog. *sigh* I'm sorry.

So, Chapter two, which still has no title.

I.. I don't have as much to say about this chapter. It was kinda filler, really. Ken beating himself up a bit, hanging out with Wormmon and talking to his mom, and seeing what went down with Matt.

"You didn't know." the green digimon whispered, leaping up onto the boy's lap.

"I should have, though. I should have." Ken said bitterly, ducking his head"

I feel like they have this conversation every few days. Ken really has been beating himself up for this- which I think it pretty canon, because when they're all facing MaloMyotismon, he sent them into visions where they- I dunno, got their heart's desire, or something- and Ken's was really heartbreaking. He didn't get sam back, or see a world where he'd never been evil, his dream- they were in the dream world place- his dream was to be punished for what he'd done. This kid is 11 and that was what he wanted more than anything. It's so sad. I tried to capture that. Ken honestly doesn't think he can make up for what he did, honestly thinks he will never belong in the Digital world.

moving on- Ken witnesses the events of chapter 2 of A Fading Hope. That was fun, to write it from an outside point of view, an over view rather than the very limited this-is-what-TK-knows-is-happening point of view. That was nice. there will be several other instances of this, of Ken seeing things happen.

And then my AN promising postings. I AM working on the song fic, by the way.
I'll post later tonight about chapter three, which i just posted

*sheepish grin* An Unseen Kindness chapter 1

So I meant to write about this, I really did. I wrote it on my to do list every week, and, well, here I am. Sorry.

I don't have titles for these chapters, which feels odd, but I don't really know what to call them. Maybe after the music I was listening too. ( The main piece I listened to while writing this chapter was " Not one of Us" from the second Lion King movie)

We start where the main action of the first few chapters of Fading Hope start- the Amusement park. This was very much on purpose- Ken is the archetypal shadow here. He is where the others have been, will go, he is in their past and their future. He's not just hiding in his ruined base, he's walking the earth- erm, Digiworld, doing what he can to fix things here, or there. rebuild what was destroyed under his rule. destroy the things he built.

Ken is the Atoner, but he's a different kind- he's not doing this so he can face the Digidestined. He's not doing this so that they will forgive him, or the digimon he's hurt, because in his mind, they can't. They will never be able to, and shouldn't. Ken is doing this to atone to himself. So that he can forgive himself. It's a very long road ahead, though, and he's not sure he'll ever get there, but doing nothing will only make it worse. That's what he's been doing for the last while, by the way. Helping, this isn't the first place he's rebuilt.

He's also petrified of running into, say, angry digimon, or the digidestined- because they would have every right to attack him, and at this point I don't think he'd even fight back. He feels like he deserves any punishment he gets ( seen in his vision in the season finale) so I got to explore that.

I was really excited that I got to write a digivolving scene, because we never saw what happened to make Wormmon digivolve the first time. We can guess that Ken was in danger, since that's how it usually works, and from that and the idea that he already knew that someone was turning his spires into evil psydo-digimon ( hence why he was ok with killing that Thundermon that almost killed Cody) I spun this together. It was fun. Turionmon, by the way, is a Roman Centurion. I crack myself up.

Lastly, I love Ken's mom. she's the best. I don't think Ken told her what he did, He wouldn't tell anyone, because it would break her heart- but if he had, she probably would have held him and rocked him and said she loved him. She's that kind of mom. She really reminds me of my own mom, she was just so happy to have him back, and later in the show when he talks about having friends, she's over the moon, which is how my mom was when my brother and I made a new friend ( we were both very badly bullied and had very few friends growing up) If I ever needed to talk, Mom was there. It's really hard, not seeing her for months at a time. So Ken's mom is in the chapter, and she's instantly taken to Wormmon and they are bffs. Wormmon helps her clean the house and test new recipes.
Gosh I love the friendships.

I'll post for chapter 2 later.

A Fading Hope: Last chapter:Rivers Flow

Hi! Sorry I took so very long with this. school’s been a nightmare.

A Fading Hope: Last chapter: rivers flow

Song: River ( see previous post) and Rivers Run. From Browne Sisters’s Miles Through the Night

This weary earth we walk upon

She will endure when we are gone

While kingdoms come and kingdoms go

Rivers run and rivers flow

You know I don't believe it's true

That in this world there's nothing new

For darling, you have just begun

Rivers flow and rivers run

Chorus:

And if the river should ever run dry

Somewhere the rain will still fall

Will still fall from the sky

When I'm beguiled by the fear

That darker days are drawing near

My darling, you seduce the sun

Rivers flow and rivers run

(Chorus)

This wounded earth we walk upon

She will endure when we are gone

But still I pray that you may know

How rivers run and rivers flow

(Chorus)

I cross my heart and I hope to live

Just long enough that I can give

It all to you, my darling one

Rivers flow and rivers run

My darling one

Rivers flow and rivers run

I picked this song because it tied in with the previous one- “hope is a river, etc”- and in this way, by extending the metaphor, I was saying, and if hope should run dry, run out, soon it will return, the rain, hope will still come. Which is what happened in this story. Hope was lost, but then, miraculously, it rained.

Story:

So I was legit crying while writing this. Not even gonna lie.  It was hard. I wanted to make it perfect. I’m not sure I did it justice, but I’m... happy with it.

I knew I wanted to see a moment in time, a snapshot of the hospital before it gets messy with people showing up and stuff. It wasn’t exactly the most realistic thing, the Hidas getting out, only Jim being there, but then, I’m writing about digimon. Who needs reality? Bah! so things work out, because you know, nothing has worked out really until the last chapter and it’s due time for things working out. So Jim’s able to revive and rehydrate Izzy. I have no clue if that’s how dehydrated people are treated. I’m running with it, though.

Then comes Jim’s explanation for Cody- really though it was T.K’s mum who came up with it. if it doesn’t seem realistic, again, sorry. Izzy’s fine and that’s what matters, and his first thought is- is everyone ok? Of course it is. Bless you, Izzy.

I also sent most of the digimon elsewhere because 1) too many characters, it would be way too cluttered. 2) even the blindest doctors and silliest doctors would notice that, and I couldn’t suspend that much disbelief. also I figured that it would occur to someone ( Joe, probably) that letting the in-the-know parents know about the rescue and all would be, you know, good. Meanwhile in America, Mimi’s parents are freaking out. Luckily, Michael has an excuse. what is it? I haven’t the foggiest.

I like the light imagery here, a lot. as I’ve mentioned, I have the common theme of hope and despair, light and darkness. I love, love using light imagery. in fact, my all time favorite images from this story are:

the portal out of the dark ocean and through it the pink sky

the darkness dome and web of light with flecks of pink in it

and 

the light dome we see in this chapter.

But while earlier things worked the second time, they don’t this time, and that’s, well, worrying. Third time’s the charm, but they don’t know that. Digidestined are surprisingly un-genre savvy. except for Joe. Bless you, Joe.

And then we get the snapshots into the heads of everyone. I had fun writing that. I liked Sora’s because there was more of the Light Dark imagery, ( when Matt saved Sora he was in a golden bubble) Davis’s was also fun, because that was so how I think- I’ll be nice to my brother, I’ll never swear again, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll, just let this work. Of course, I’m usually praying over tests or computers, not my friends’ comatose bodies.

Fun fact: I forgot about Yolei at first. I had to go back and add her in. I felt bad about that.

And then the egg hatches yayay and that Light, that’s enough :)

MATT”S AWAKE!!!!! Sheesh, Hedgi, it only took you, like, 18 chapters. a whole year. but he’s awake and alive and everything’s going to be ok and there’s hugging and everyones happy and cue the strings and happy music isn’t it warm and fuzzy?

Chaos reigned. I was glad to bring that line, a dark thought, back, to reclaim it for something bright and warm and safe.

as for the ending. I worked on it for ages, mostly during class ( hey it was creative writing, I was being creative!) I wanted something that connected back to the Light, something that tied together the theme of the story- loosing and regaining hope. I had the explanation, which I liked, and the crest, which was a scene I’d been planning for ages and ages, since the very start... and the kiss, which I’m sure the Takari shippers loved.

I wrote the last bit- “ hope child, light child, you chose your path well” on a scrap of paper, crossed it out, re wrote it, over and over. nothing else felt as right, nothing else fit. at first I wasn’t sure about it, but it grew on me, and became the end.

Thank you for taking this journey with me. I hope to write the first chapter of Ken’s story on saturday and post it very soon.

A Fading Hope Chapter 18

A Fading Hope Chapter 18: Sorrow and Glory

Song- River

O bless the water that flows from the fields
Into the sea that surrounds our little island of green
Hope is a river that flows from these stone walls
Into an ocean we have never seen

Hope is a dress that my mother once wore
A fiddle tune I heard that has no words
Hope is the one thing we have never lost
Though we are tired from the old war 
Same anger in our hearts, same desolation and loss
Why are we divided
Bind us in friendship so rage will never rise again
In fair Eire between friends .

I picked this song because, well, I liked it. You can find a full (better) version on the CD I mentioned, Miles Through The Night. It also ties in with next chapter's Song- Rivers Run. I wanted to continue the Idea that hope spring eternal-  although in this case, hope was lost for a time, but it came back, it wasn't gone forever. yeah. Not a lot to say on this song.


Story.
Oh boy.
I was worried that this would be too short, but I really wanted to have two more chapters, counting this one, so I tried to draw it out. Not sure if I succeeded. I wanted to get into T.K.'s head a bit, but also see how the others are reacting to this- it's over now, or mostly- but yet it's not. there is still much to do, and they are weary, they are worn. Tai wants to go hareing off after his sister, and pretty much everyone wants to, but they have grown. They aren't as reckless. I think in the show, Tai woud have run off after Kari. But in my story.. I feel like they've had to grow up even faster. So I had to show that.

Confession time: I forgot about cody last chapter. So I made Davis have forgotten to. Oh, Davis. even if you are slightly likable now, you're still my butt monkey. Sorry.
So then we get some sad stuff from T.K.... and then he walks into a tree. I couldn't resist.

One of my favorite lines: "He wasn't being literal, fish breath. "Oh Gomamon, bless you and your fish breath.
OOOH. Kari's stuff just keeps showing up. Her crest, her digivice...but for all they call, nope. Not there.
And then they all prove WHY they're the Digidestined: they are friends. Sometimes they butt heads, sometimes they argue, but they are loyalty personified. Kari's out there? They WILL find her. No questions, no needing to be asked.

And the Voice is gone. what could that mean? Will we ever find out? Yes, you will. Because I have about a zillion companions to this I'm going to be writing, all set in the same universe. There's Ken's Story, and Kari's, and some stuff with Izzy's parents, and Matt's and Sora's, and even a wormmon centric one! I'm going to be busy!
But the Voice is gone.

Also: Serious Takari warm fuzzies. It's a bit strange because my gosh they are just little kids, but at the same time, they are my One True Pairing, so... meh. there will be even more Warm Fuzzies.


And then SHE'S BACK!!!!!!! I was worried people would think it was too easy, but I swear, I explain it in another fic that is coming, I promise. But She's back and she's ok and they're all together and it's so warm and fuzzy I can hardly stand it. But Gatomon. I had to. It's a callback, a tie in to the show. I hope it worked.

but it's wrapping up. It's almost over. It's been 13 months since I started this fic. I've never worked so long or so hard on a project. I am glad you enjoyed it as much as I did.
The next chapter should be up Saturday.

A Fading Hope Chapter 17

A Fading Hope chapter 17: Final Stand.

Songs:
Chapter 34 by Riddle TM. (part two)

Here we are now at the bitter end
Holding onto loyalty and hope
We have courage, friendship and love
A magic stronger than anything you have.

I see around me people I love and I feel strong
Nothing can stop me now.
You took my family, can take my life
But I won’t be defeated,
That at least is clear.

Life is precarious,
But that doesn’t mean we can’t have hope.
I’m not afraid anymore.
Here’s to life, and here’s to love.

And you underestimated us
You don’t understand friendship or love
Now Tom Riddle, this is the end.
The last thing to be defeated is death.

I Will Believe from Narnia. (part two)And I know
That I could never go it alone
'Cause I believe
I'd be lost without You here beside me

Chorus
It's like daylight
At midnight
It's my favorite dream when nothings really as it seems
Don't wake me
Just take me
Take me by the hand and I will believe

We have always been protected
Little ones should run and hide
But we expect the unexpected
When love arrives and calls us all inside
And I know
That even when the wind blows
I'll be fine
'Cause You and I will get by 'til Springtime
Chorus
Don't close your eyes, I'm right beside you
Don't be afraid, I'm never far
You and I were always meant to
Wake the dreamers from the dark
Come out, come out wherever you are
Chorus

I Chose these songs for different reasons. both were songs I'd used before, but the sections I wanted weren't right for the previous chapters. They fit, though, for this one. Chapter 34 is... it is this chapter. In the song, Harry is going to face Voldemort and Die. in the chapter.. this is the bitter end. T.K. and Patamon will either win... or they won't. But win or die, this is it. The end. And all he has to hold onto is Patamon- his loyalty, his friendship- his friendship with Kari, the power of her Crest, the power of his own crest- hope. that's it. but just because it's a risk doesn't mean he can't have that hope.
The second one... an early draft of this chapter had him pretending Kari was with him, but that got nixed. still, I chose this because it was, to me, Kari whispering to him that she was with him.
Make of that what you will.

Story:
This was another hard chapter to write, even though I managed it in an afternoon. It was a bit emotionally draining, though not as bad as the Dark Ocean chapters.
but I had to do it, this final battle, that we've been building to for a year now, justice. I couldn't be sloppy and have some weak little battle with a few attacks. I also wanted some epic images in there, something that you all would be able to see- like the dome of darkness and web of light. 
I was worried, a bit, that there was too much dialog, and *almost* thought about leaving out the part where Devimon admits T.K. is the Small one... but in the end, I had to keep that. I just had to. plus, T.K got to yell and be all sad and furious. which is a bonus.  Plus Devimon got to gibve his reasons speech- and keep attacking during it, because he's not a stupid monologuing villain.

Oh! some of the lines are direct quotes. Devimon's "make this easy on yourself and hold still" comes from episode 13 and "Despair and Die" comes from Narnia."

just thought you might find that cool.

I love the image of the lacework light gleaming with all the colors of the crests. it might be my favorite image from this chapter... or from this work actually.

one of my favorite lines "I think you should shut up!" bless you, T.K. bless you.
What were your favorite lines?


and then T.K. wakes up and we get the revelation that Patamon didn't die this time, but he's Togomon. and hungry. d'aww. see? I have funny!
and you all guessed it, didn't you? I could never kill them all off. I told you I like happy endings. so everyone lives! everyone lives! Well, Kari's missing. and non captain Koromon got deleted. I almost killed off Captain but then remembered that I promised to let him live. so little Koromon got it instead.
the reunions are sweet, though. T.K. just sobbing, "you're alive!" and everyone hugging and joe getting fishbreathed by Gomamon... but Kari's missing.
I was worried that Tai was too calm about it, but at this point he's just- so worn. he won't let himself believe that she's dead. there have been so many miracles. there can be one more. And right now, everyone needs him to be strong... and he knows that T.K. is blaming the heck out of himself if something bad did happen, and Tai's... grown, in the last bit, enough that he knows that the others need him. it's not just about Kari, he's worried for everyone.
what did you think?
another favorite line because I just punch you in the feels :
"Whatever Devimon did to us, I'm weak as a kitten." Agumon said. "No offense Gato- oh." His face fell.

yeah. I went there. I'm terrible.

but things.. are looking up. devimon's gone. they are free... it's over.

but the story still has two chapters so don't go anywhere.

hedgi

A Fading Hope Chapter 16

So. This is quite late. and the next chapter is late, too. Sorry about that.
I've just started college up again, and it's hard to get used to everything- I had a lot to do before leaving home, and I'm sorry I'm behind. as a treat, next blog post will be the first draft of the last chapter- a little snippet I wrote about a year ago when i was plotting the story.
That said, post time!
Chapter 16.

Song- May it be from Lord of The Rings

I chose this song because it just.. fit. it was slow, and sad, but lilting upwards. it's a lullaby, saying, hold on. It's not over yet. Hold on. There is still light. May this that I am saying, about holding on have light be true. have hope.
at least, that's how I see it.

Story time:
This was one of the hardest but most fun chapters to write. I got to use one of my favorite themes- the triumph of hope over despair. Like I said last time, I use that in most of my work, and here was where it came full out, not just the partial dealings with darkness but the Light.
funfact: I almost had Patamon bite TK to get him to snap out of it. in the end it didn't quite fit, but I love the image and may come back to it.
Again, I used a lot of my own experiences in this chapter- not being able to hear my own voice, the chest both empty and full of sharp edges like rocks, pounding behind the eyes from crying. It actually was really nice to be able to use what I've felt in this way.

 then we get to the image that came to me when i was plotting this out. last chapter was the Core, but this is the image I was working with almost more- TK holding Matt's harmonica, and it gives him hope. this was a tie in to the show, when it's the key-chain of Matt he holds, but it is still something small, that reminds hm of what else there is to loose, to not give in, not give up. To believe in himself. And, miracle of Miracles, he does.

another item shamelessly stolen from Tamora Pierce is Patamon's line- until death and beyond it. I wish I had made it up, but nope. I think it fits, though, all the digimon but mostly Pata. because Patamon has gone through and beyond 'death' or as close as digimon get to death, and he is saying- I have done this before, and I will do it again, I am with you." which is just the sweetest most loyal thing ever. I love Patamon. He shall live.


And now we get to the Crest. Surprise! ok, hands, how many were surprised to see that? now, I'm sure you want to know how it got there. you'll find out sooner r later, I promise. just wait, kay? There's a bit of sorrow here, because what has happened, loosing so many, doesn't just go away because of a return of hope. It doesn't. I am very blessed that I have not lost close friends, but I still mourn for people I've lost- not to death, but to distance. Sorry for that, but I couldn't have T.K. being all sunshine rainbows, not now.

the next image is one that I love. TK, backlit with the brilliant pink sky, on the mountain, about to face devimon, a cut on one cheek but his whole body just- set- in fury and this mantel of power. because even if he's not the small one, devimon is going down.

I realize that the speech was corny and cheesy. but I went and re-watched some episodes from late season 1 and mid season 2 and Digimon is SO cheesy. so I felt like it was ok.

Awww, isn't T.K. so brave? I just want to hug him right now.


So yeah.
next chapter will be up this friday- saturday. see you then.