Chapter 11

A Fading Hope chapter 11: A fading hope

Songs
The Prayer by Celtic Woman

I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know
(chorus)
Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

I pray we'll find your light
And hold it in our hearts
When stars go out each night
Remind us where you are

Let this be our prayer
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

We ask that life be kind
And watch us from above
We hope each soul will find
Another soul to love
Chorus

Trip the Light(link below)

If all the days that come to pass
Are behind these walls
I’ll be left at the end of things
In a world kept small

Travel far from what I know
I’ll be swept away
I need to know I can be lost
and not afraid

We’re gonna trip the light
We’re gonna break the night
And we’ll see with new eyes
When we trip the light

Remember we’re lost together
Remember we’re the same
We hold the burning rhythm in our hearts
We hold the flame

Chorus

I’ll find my way home
On the Western wind
To a place that was once my world
Back from where I’ve been

And in the morning light I’ll remember
As the sun will rise
We are all the glowing embers
Of a distant fire

Chorus

I really like both these songs. The first one comes from a movie- Quest for Camelot. It was a really weird, not so great movie. But the song is pretty. It's sort of- a beacon. It's full of hope, even though darkness is coming, is around. Even though it seems like all might be lost. I wanted that for this chapter, because- thats what this chapter is. Hope. Things are working out, at last. things are grim, but there's that silver light, there's Light. The second one comes from the second "Where the Hell is Matt" video, which is a huge faith in humanity restorer, if you ask me. This guy- named Matt- goes and just- dances, all over the world, with people. It really goes to show- how united we are, we could be. I chose it because of the chorus- " we're going to trip the light, we're going to break the night." because that's what happens- it's time. T.K. and our heroes are going to fight the Darkness.

Story.
While I'm still not totally happy with the chapter, and will probably go back and edit to make it fuller,  It was probably the easiest chapter to write- I wrote it in one day, and then edited over the course of one week, rather than two or three, mostly because I wanted to make up for that last chapter's RTC. But it wasn't hard to write, it just sort of came out, all at once, a flood of words rather than a stream. In hindsight, I probably should have edited it more, but....

Anyway, first, Matt. everyone got so worried for him and I love him so much for putting up with me. first I half kill his brother, then I half kill him- he's been through a lot in the last two and a half years(of me writing) I would like to say right now that I was never *really* going to kill him off. While I am looking at a possible bittersweet ending, I love Matt too much to kill him off. (besides, that would be too easy, you're half expecting it. If I'm going to off someone you aren't going to see it coming.)
Also, that chapter got lots of reviews, so clearly I should do RTCs more often. This next chapter will have one, and the chapter after that for sure. I'm not sure about the next chapter, that one might just be a TC(Terrible Cliffhanger)

I had a lot of fun with T.K.'s digivice glowy stuff. I feel like the thought process was more realistic in this chapter than in others- repetition of words and minimal punctuation, the way you think when you're desperate.

But what I really want to talk about was the Dream. Have you ever had a dream that you know is a dream, you're sure it's a dream because why would you be at work at 8 AM on a Sunday with no one else around if you only work afternoons three days a week?(that was a few days ago. sometimes my dreams are shockingly normal) Anyway, you know it must be a dream, but you can feel pain, or think you can, and you can't wake up or make the dream stop, it just is- that's what T.K.'s dream is. It's a nightmare he can't shake loose from, and what's more, you know it's a dream not because it's not possible but because it's wrong. Matt's not dead, Jim said he was fine so this has to be a dream- it's dark and wrong and confusing. And then you can feel things, cold or pain, or you think you can and what if it's real? You start to doubt your own sanity, you know it's a dream but you can't wake up and what if, what if, what if? That's the kind of dream this is. It's not a vision, it's not real, but it sure as buttercream feels like it.

The second part has to be one of my favorite scenes to write in this whole story so far. It was the Voice, comforting T.K., but really it was *me* comforting him. I got to hold him like a mother holds a child and say, 'it's ok. It's ok.'  Over the last two+ years I have put T.K. through a lot. I've put all the characters through so much, but by the time this is all over, T.K's the clear winner of the break the cutie, writer-induced-trauma contest. And I do feel bad. I'm a jerk to them all. But it's the story, that's how it goes, and I do enjoy writing it. At the same time, these characters are real to me. Maybe it's just crazy, but making characters real is the only way I got through middle school. So this is the Voice, telling T.K. it'll be alright, but it's also me comforting T.K., who was my best friend at age 8 when I had so few,who distracted me when my grandpa died when I was 14, who helped me write and finish something longer than a few pages, that other people thought was good. It's an I'm sorry, and a thank you.

More than that, I saw it almost as me speaking to the readers, telling you, see? It's ok. I'm going to bring darkness and Sorrow, but look, things will work out, in their own way, in the end. It will be all right, all Light, somehow.


Anyway, I'll try to update in about two weeks. Many reviews make for speedy updates!
Hedgi